R.I.S.E. Services

• Brainstorm a safe place to go if an argument begins. Avoid rooms with no exits (bathroom), or rooms with weapons (kitchen).
• Make a list of safe people to contact.
• Keep change with you at all times.
• Establish a “code word” or “sign” so that family, friends, teachers, or co- workers know when to call for help.
• If you have been isolated from friends and family, and are without a support group, be sure to memorize the crisis line for your local domestic violence shelter.
• Memorize other important numbers.
• Think about what you will say to your partner if he/she becomes violent.

• Take all important papers and documents with you. This enables you to apply for benefits or take legal action, should you choose to do so. If possible, take your state ID or driver’s license, birth certificates and social security cards for yourself and your children, leases or deeds in your name or both names, your checkbook, your credit cards, bank statements and credit card statements, insurance policies, proof of income (pay stubs or W- 2s), and any documentation of past abuse (photos, police reports, medical records, etc.)
• Change your phone number.
• Screen all calls.
• Save and document all contacts, messages, or injuries involving the partner/spouse that you may have.
• Plan how to get away if confronted by an abusive partner.
• If you do need to meet your partner do it in a public place.
• Vary your routine.
• Notify school and work contacts about what is going on.
• Call your local domestic violence

Planning for violence in the home:

• If violence appears to be escalating, avoid running to the children because your partner may hurt them as well.
• Teach your children when and how to call 911.
• Instruct the children to leave the home if possible when things begin to escalate, and where they can go. Try coming up with a code work that you can say when they need to leave the home in case of an emergency- make sure that they know not to tell others what the secret word means.
• Identify a room in the house that they can go to when they’re afraid and something they can think about when they’re scared.
• Instruct them to stay out of the kitchen, bathroom, or other areas where there may be weapons.
• Teach them that although they may love you and want to protect you, they should never intervene in the situation.
• Sit down with them and help them make a list of people they are comfortable talking and expressing themselves to.
• Enroll them in a counseling program.

Planning for unsupervised visits:

• Avoid exchanging custody at your home or your partner’s home. Meet in a safe, public place such as a restaurant, a bank/area with lots of cameras, or near a police station.
• Bring a friend or relative with you to the exchanges, or have them make the exchange.
• Perhaps plan to have a your partner pick the children up from school at the end of the day, which eliminates the chance of seeing each other.
• Emotional safety plan as well! Before the exchange, explore ways to calm any nerves you’re feeling. After the exchange, find ways to focus on yourself or the kids, such as going to a park or doing a fun activity.

Planning for after you leave:

• Alert anyone you can about the situation: counselors, school receptionists, teachers and principal, sport instructors, and other caretakers.
• Talk to these people about the situation (For example, if you have a PPO or restraining order, be sure people know who is allowed to pick them up).
• Tell them you want to protect them and everyone’s safety, so you have come up with a plan to use in case of emergencies.
• Remember that when you are safety planning with a child, they may tell this information to the abusive partner which could make the situation more dangerous. When talking about these plans with your child, use phrases such as, “We’re practicing what to do in an emergency”, instead of, “We’re planning what to do when dad/mom becomes violent.”